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The Zoo Job
Did you hear about the man who was looking for a job overseas? He noticed there was an opening at the local zoo. Upon inquiry, he discovered the zoo had a very unusual position that they wanted to fill. Apparently their gorilla had died, and until they could get a new one, they needed [...]
WHO DO YOU TELL YOUR SECRETS?
Three pastors took a day off and decided to go fishing after a busy Sunday. They agreed it’s so difficult preaching to people all the time and no one preaches to them. Sitting by the river with little response from the hooks, one pastor thought of sharing his heart with others. He said: “guys its [...]
church \ damn \ dollars \ lottery
The Real Go’damn Church
A crusty old man walks into the local Church and says to the secretary, ‘I would like to join this damn church.’ The astonished woman replies, ‘I beg your pardon, sir. I must have misunderstood you. What did you say?’ ‘Listen up, damn it. I said I want to join this ga’damn church!’ ‘I’m very [...]
Little Zachary \ math \ mother \ nuns
Little Zach and the Plus Sign
Little Zachary was doing very badly in maths. His parents had tried everything: tutors, mentors, flash cards, special learning centre. In short, everything they could think of to help his maths. Finally, in a last ditch effort, they took Zachary down and enrolled him in the local Catholic school. After the first day, little Zachary [...]
Hummer Or Starlet!
A boss walked into the office one morning not knowing that his zipper Was down, and his fly wide open. His secretary walked up to him and said, “Boss this morning when you left your house, did you close your Garage door?” This was not a phrase that her boss understood, so he went into his office looking a [...]
Kenya \ politics \ sex strike \ wives \ women
Kenyan Women Go on Sex Strike
Irked by the recent constitutional crises that arose among the coalition government partners in Kenya, women in that country have decided to deny men sex for seven days. Yesterday, thousands of the women vowed to begin a week-long sex strike to protest their country’s bickering leadership, which they say threatens to revive the bloody chaos [...]
Management and Economic Crunch
Dear employees, Due to the current financial situation caused by the slowdown of economy, Management has decided to implement a scheme to put workers of 40 years of age and above on early retirement. This scheme will be known as RAPE (Retire Aged People Early). Persons selected to be RAPED can apply to [...]
The Baker’s Mistake
A Baker was asked to print 1st John 4:18 on a wedding cake and he forgot and instead printed John 4:18 1st John 4:18 reads “There is no fear in love; but perfect love cast out fear: because fear has torment. He that fears is not made perfect in love” John 4:18 reads “For [...]
morality \ motivation \ speaker
Danger of Copy and Paste
A popular motivational speaker was entertaining his audience. He Said: “The best years of my life were spent in the arms of a woman who wasn’t my wife!” The audience was in silence and shock. The speaker added: “And that woman was my mother!” Laughter and applause. A week later, a top manager trained by [...]
hausa \ igbo \ nigeria \ yoruba
Yoruba Sense
Three Nigerians – one Hausa, one Igbo and one Yoruba -sat somewhere in Saudi Arabia, sharing a smuggled barrel of beer and feeling rather safe. But, all of a sudden, some policemen stormed their hideout and arrested them. But, since it was a national holiday, the Sheikh decided to commute the capital sentence. He ordered that [...]
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