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amodu \ goodluck \ turai \ yaradua
Naija Dictionary Update2
Yar’-adua (noun)…a person who abandons his people and is silent for a long period of time…e.g. my girlfriend’s gone yar’adua on me again….. Why the yar’adua, is everything okay?….yar’adua is the best answer for a fool… Turai: (adjective): very greedy person… Eg that babe is too turai for my liking..why are you eating like a [...]
Naija Dictionary Update
YAKUBU (Ya-ku-bu)v. Ya*ku*bu, Ya*ku*bu*ed, Ya*ku*bus 1. To utterly squander once-in-a-lifetime opportunities, especially one that will cause pain to/mourning among millions of people 2. To mistake a platter of gold for a potty, and to go ahead and defecate all over it, while millions watch in distress, dread and disbelief 3. To be presented with an [...]
The Zoo Job
Did you hear about the man who was looking for a job overseas? He noticed there was an opening at the local zoo. Upon inquiry, he discovered the zoo had a very unusual position that they wanted to fill. Apparently their gorilla had died, and until they could get a new one, they needed [...]
WHO DO YOU TELL YOUR SECRETS?
Three pastors took a day off and decided to go fishing after a busy Sunday. They agreed it’s so difficult preaching to people all the time and no one preaches to them. Sitting by the river with little response from the hooks, one pastor thought of sharing his heart with others. He said: “guys its [...]
Deze Igbo People Sef!
A Nigerian business tycoon was at a social gathering where other moguls and wealthy men were present. The Ibo businessman looked for all ways to oppress the other rich men who were present at the gathering. Just for that foolish reason, he sent for his driver and had this conversation with him: Driver, go to [...]
church \ damn \ dollars \ lottery
The Real Go’damn Church
A crusty old man walks into the local Church and says to the secretary, ‘I would like to join this damn church.’ The astonished woman replies, ‘I beg your pardon, sir. I must have misunderstood you. What did you say?’ ‘Listen up, damn it. I said I want to join this ga’damn church!’ ‘I’m very [...]
Little Zachary \ math \ mother \ nuns
Little Zach and the Plus Sign
Little Zachary was doing very badly in maths. His parents had tried everything: tutors, mentors, flash cards, special learning centre. In short, everything they could think of to help his maths. Finally, in a last ditch effort, they took Zachary down and enrolled him in the local Catholic school. After the first day, little Zachary [...]
Hummer Or Starlet!
A boss walked into the office one morning not knowing that his zipper Was down, and his fly wide open. His secretary walked up to him and said, “Boss this morning when you left your house, did you close your Garage door?” This was not a phrase that her boss understood, so he went into his office looking a [...]
devoted husband \ honest \ wife
Honest Husband or Wife?
A couple was invited to a masked costume Halloween party. The wife got a terrible headache and told her husband to go to the party alone. He, being a devoted husband, protested, but she argued and said she was going to take some aspirin and go to bed, and there was no need for his good time [...]
Kenya \ politics \ sex strike \ wives \ women
Kenyan Women Go on Sex Strike
Irked by the recent constitutional crises that arose among the coalition government partners in Kenya, women in that country have decided to deny men sex for seven days. Yesterday, thousands of the women vowed to begin a week-long sex strike to protest their country’s bickering leadership, which they say threatens to revive the bloody chaos [...]
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